Hi there, so it's a new first post and a new day.
What's one thing that pretty much every women's magazine is likely to cash in on? BODY IMAGE! Sure, we're all insecure but the fact that there will always be a heated debate on whether a 'real woman' has curves, is too skinny, too fat, too weird.... well, it makes a lot of money. Do you blame them for bringing it up? As you can guess, a few magazines in the merry old land of Aus have just had their body image specials, all landed conveniently around the same time (but then again, most are owned by the same publishing company so that may explain a little more as to why).
Here is my stance on body image, so be prepared for some tough love.
You're not a real woman just because you have curves and an ass. You're not a real woman just because you're pretty and skinny and wealthy and manage to look like a nymphet when you're nearing forty. Want to know what makes a real woman? ACTING like one! That doesn't mean you can't still enjoy yourself or go out for a few drinks after work with your friends (I say this, yet I don't actually drink myself... go figure!) or wear divinely sexy clothing... it means that you're old enough to know better than to assume that you're going to -look- fifteen for the rest of your life. You're not going to have the same metabolism after you hit 25 or again after you have kids. Don't kill yourself trying to fit in all that exercise and organic, healthy food that barely lines your stomach. Embrace the fact that you are and look like a woman. Ask any man what they think is attractive and they'll say 2 things. 1) Curves (an ambiguous term which is a bit of a lifesaver for the male world... do they mean they like you with a little extra to grab on to or do they mean a defined, tiny waist, voluptuous breasts and a round ass? the answer is probably both) and 2) Someone womanly. This doesn't mean one of those pre pubescent looking faces that grace the catwalk and cosmetic ads, more a Guess model who seems to appear like they're 25+ and is divinely confident of that fact.
Most women see Marylin Monroe as an epitome of beauty. She was beautiful, talented and definitely did not look like a starved thirteen year old.... so why don't we aspire to look like her rather than, say, that tiny waif like creature we see wearing head to toe Dolce and Gabbana? In fact, look at Angelina Jolie. Most men find her ridiculously sexy, with good reason. Does she look like she's still in high school? No? then what are you worried about if you don't either? She's a woman. She has a face that resembles and adult. She has a body that resembles an adult. Sure, it's her job to be thin and attractive and have a gruelling exercise regime, but it's the same thing as working in an office and having to wear business attire... it's your job.
The other thing I should point out is that the actresses models and singers of the world get paid to be attractive in a conventional sense. They probably don't want to spend hours a day in front of a treadmill, doing some kind of yoga exercise they can't pronounce and eating nothing but 'healthy' (meaning: tasteless, unfulfilling, restrictive) diets. I'm sure that most of these people would love an icecream sundae as much as the next person would. Feel better now? I sure hope so. It's not your job to be superwoman and defy time, gravity and your physical abilities or cooking skills. You probably don't make as much as these women do (they can afford a personal trainer, they can afford plastic surgeons and they can afford to get their photos airbrushed... though all of these things would also be taxable expenses for them as it's in the job description and it makes a hell of a lot of money for said personal trainer/plastic surgeon/photo retoucher) Their jobs are also not the typical 9-5 jobs. They work incredibly hard throughout certain times of the year when they're shooting/recording/modelling and then have months of downtime in which they're meant to work on their appearance in order to gain more work when it comes up. They also may want to, you know, see their loved ones once in a while... something we get to do every day in most cases because we get to go home on nights and weekends.
Some people are naturally skinny. Some people are naturally not. Some people are naturally tall, short, dark or fair... it's not something you can help all the time. Once you're sure that you're healthy (again, not meaning a size 0, but able to walk up a flight of stairs, get about your daily business and not get sick every 5 minutes) then you don't have to try to achieve some kind of scary body shape because, I'll let you in on a little secret here, it won't make you happier and it won't make you a better person. Just a hungrier, more tired and more resentful one. Nothing's more unattractive to anyone than a grumpy, constantly tired woman who you can't even take out for dinner because it goes against her diet rules to eat anything that isn't made in some kind of secret, expensive ingredient.
While we see these people in the papers every day, they never say to us "You would be perfect if you looked like me." They're also not "real" people to the average reader of any magazine. When did any of us last catch a coffee with little Vicky Beckham or stop for drinks with Beth Ditto? probably last week in that dream where we saved the world from seal hunters on the planet Zutron. Some people are naturally skinny. Some people are naturally voluptuous. Add some exercise and, yes, you can look any way you'd like, but at what price? We're so caught up on looking young that we assume that a 28 year old will have the metabolism of a fifteen year old and if not, they should try to attain that body shape. I think the real issue is that we try to be that undefined age of 'young' for too long and are bitterly disappointed when we don't look the same at 30 that we did at 20, that we don't look the same at 20 that we did at 16 when our hormones, our lifestyles and our faster metabolisms meant that we didn't look like complete morons in tiny shorts or sparkly tops. My point being? you can't be 16 forever... and it's great! You can get married, join the army, win the lottery (because you're old enough to buy a ticket) and having a 'cheap drink' no longer means drinking fruity lexia in the park with your closest friends and hoping the cops don't walk past. No more pimples or worrying that the cute guy in the year level above you thinks of you as a 'little sister' figure. Embrace the fact that you're a woman. You don't look like you're doing something illegal if you wear sexy lingerie or stay up past 10 on a weeknight.
I'd rather be a 'real' woman for being past the age of puberty, rather than worrying whether or not I gain weight if I eat that extra slice of cheesecake. That's what being a 'real' woman is, being an adult and knowing better than to sweat it over petty things. Take note, everyone, and enjoy yourselves.
Actually, if you are reading this, I'd also suggest you pick up a copy of this week's Grazia in Australia (issue 86, which is available until April 26) as you can see some of this article in the opinions page. Now, go out and get some fresh air, eat some real food for lunch and have a wonderful day.
What's one thing that pretty much every women's magazine is likely to cash in on? BODY IMAGE! Sure, we're all insecure but the fact that there will always be a heated debate on whether a 'real woman' has curves, is too skinny, too fat, too weird.... well, it makes a lot of money. Do you blame them for bringing it up? As you can guess, a few magazines in the merry old land of Aus have just had their body image specials, all landed conveniently around the same time (but then again, most are owned by the same publishing company so that may explain a little more as to why).
Here is my stance on body image, so be prepared for some tough love.
You're not a real woman just because you have curves and an ass. You're not a real woman just because you're pretty and skinny and wealthy and manage to look like a nymphet when you're nearing forty. Want to know what makes a real woman? ACTING like one! That doesn't mean you can't still enjoy yourself or go out for a few drinks after work with your friends (I say this, yet I don't actually drink myself... go figure!) or wear divinely sexy clothing... it means that you're old enough to know better than to assume that you're going to -look- fifteen for the rest of your life. You're not going to have the same metabolism after you hit 25 or again after you have kids. Don't kill yourself trying to fit in all that exercise and organic, healthy food that barely lines your stomach. Embrace the fact that you are and look like a woman. Ask any man what they think is attractive and they'll say 2 things. 1) Curves (an ambiguous term which is a bit of a lifesaver for the male world... do they mean they like you with a little extra to grab on to or do they mean a defined, tiny waist, voluptuous breasts and a round ass? the answer is probably both) and 2) Someone womanly. This doesn't mean one of those pre pubescent looking faces that grace the catwalk and cosmetic ads, more a Guess model who seems to appear like they're 25+ and is divinely confident of that fact.
Most women see Marylin Monroe as an epitome of beauty. She was beautiful, talented and definitely did not look like a starved thirteen year old.... so why don't we aspire to look like her rather than, say, that tiny waif like creature we see wearing head to toe Dolce and Gabbana? In fact, look at Angelina Jolie. Most men find her ridiculously sexy, with good reason. Does she look like she's still in high school? No? then what are you worried about if you don't either? She's a woman. She has a face that resembles and adult. She has a body that resembles an adult. Sure, it's her job to be thin and attractive and have a gruelling exercise regime, but it's the same thing as working in an office and having to wear business attire... it's your job.
The other thing I should point out is that the actresses models and singers of the world get paid to be attractive in a conventional sense. They probably don't want to spend hours a day in front of a treadmill, doing some kind of yoga exercise they can't pronounce and eating nothing but 'healthy' (meaning: tasteless, unfulfilling, restrictive) diets. I'm sure that most of these people would love an icecream sundae as much as the next person would. Feel better now? I sure hope so. It's not your job to be superwoman and defy time, gravity and your physical abilities or cooking skills. You probably don't make as much as these women do (they can afford a personal trainer, they can afford plastic surgeons and they can afford to get their photos airbrushed... though all of these things would also be taxable expenses for them as it's in the job description and it makes a hell of a lot of money for said personal trainer/plastic surgeon/photo retoucher) Their jobs are also not the typical 9-5 jobs. They work incredibly hard throughout certain times of the year when they're shooting/recording/modelling and then have months of downtime in which they're meant to work on their appearance in order to gain more work when it comes up. They also may want to, you know, see their loved ones once in a while... something we get to do every day in most cases because we get to go home on nights and weekends.
Some people are naturally skinny. Some people are naturally not. Some people are naturally tall, short, dark or fair... it's not something you can help all the time. Once you're sure that you're healthy (again, not meaning a size 0, but able to walk up a flight of stairs, get about your daily business and not get sick every 5 minutes) then you don't have to try to achieve some kind of scary body shape because, I'll let you in on a little secret here, it won't make you happier and it won't make you a better person. Just a hungrier, more tired and more resentful one. Nothing's more unattractive to anyone than a grumpy, constantly tired woman who you can't even take out for dinner because it goes against her diet rules to eat anything that isn't made in some kind of secret, expensive ingredient.
While we see these people in the papers every day, they never say to us "You would be perfect if you looked like me." They're also not "real" people to the average reader of any magazine. When did any of us last catch a coffee with little Vicky Beckham or stop for drinks with Beth Ditto? probably last week in that dream where we saved the world from seal hunters on the planet Zutron. Some people are naturally skinny. Some people are naturally voluptuous. Add some exercise and, yes, you can look any way you'd like, but at what price? We're so caught up on looking young that we assume that a 28 year old will have the metabolism of a fifteen year old and if not, they should try to attain that body shape. I think the real issue is that we try to be that undefined age of 'young' for too long and are bitterly disappointed when we don't look the same at 30 that we did at 20, that we don't look the same at 20 that we did at 16 when our hormones, our lifestyles and our faster metabolisms meant that we didn't look like complete morons in tiny shorts or sparkly tops. My point being? you can't be 16 forever... and it's great! You can get married, join the army, win the lottery (because you're old enough to buy a ticket) and having a 'cheap drink' no longer means drinking fruity lexia in the park with your closest friends and hoping the cops don't walk past. No more pimples or worrying that the cute guy in the year level above you thinks of you as a 'little sister' figure. Embrace the fact that you're a woman. You don't look like you're doing something illegal if you wear sexy lingerie or stay up past 10 on a weeknight.
I'd rather be a 'real' woman for being past the age of puberty, rather than worrying whether or not I gain weight if I eat that extra slice of cheesecake. That's what being a 'real' woman is, being an adult and knowing better than to sweat it over petty things. Take note, everyone, and enjoy yourselves.
Actually, if you are reading this, I'd also suggest you pick up a copy of this week's Grazia in Australia (issue 86, which is available until April 26) as you can see some of this article in the opinions page. Now, go out and get some fresh air, eat some real food for lunch and have a wonderful day.
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